


not beyond repair

by YellowLifeboat (honeylesbian)



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, bc i guess that's just how it ended up lol, characterization leans towards that of the musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 00:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12900321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeylesbian/pseuds/YellowLifeboat
Summary: Veronica didn't believe she was worth fixing--or that it was even possible, for that matter. Heather McNamara seemed to think differently.





	not beyond repair

_“You’re not beyond repair.”_

That was what he had told her. One of the last things he had told her, to be more specific, but of all the things he had said to her it was the one she had the hardest time believing. After walking through Hell and back Veronica Sawyer did not believe for one minute that there was anything in her that could be fixed—or that was worth fixing, for that matter.

Heather McNamara seemed to think differently.

“You know you can’t exactly lie to another sad person about being sad. We can sense it on each other.” Heather grabbed the television remote and clicked the “off” button, letting the device fall to her lap as the television before them buzzed into silence.

Veronica made a grab for the remote. “I’m fine, Heather. We’ve gone over this. Stop worrying about me so much.” Heather swatted Veronica’s hand away, face set in a determined pout.

“That’s a lie. You’re an awful liar.”

Veronica snorted. _Good enough to convince you all I’m not a murderer._ “You’ve got yourself to worry about. I can take the back seat for a minute. I’m fine.” Veronica smiled and made a second, successful grab for the remote and was a few seconds shy of turning the TV back on when—

“None of it was your fault, Veronica. You don’t have to feel guilty anymore.”

_Except it’s ALL my fault and I DO._

Veronica turned to Heather, brows knit in confusion, worry. “How are you so sure of this supposed guilt of mine?”

Heather bit her lip and took Veronica’s hand in hers slowly and tentatively. “You’ve got an awfully open face. You look like you’re about to be sick every time someone mentions—” she motioned vaguely. “—all of that. And not in the way the rest of us do.” Heather shifted in her seat, and Veronica made a mental note of the way she was slowly inching closer. “I know you think that the pep rally incident with JD was your fault. I know you think that Heather and Ram and Kurt killing themselves was your fault, too. But it wasn’t, and keeping yourself weighed down like this and then lying about it isn’t good!” Heather paused to swipe a few stray hairs from Veronica’s face. “You can’t fix yourself on your own; you’ve got to let us help you with that. After I—“ she paused once more here. Veronica watched with some awkwardness as Heather took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and took a moment before continuing on. “After I tried to kill myself you were the only light I had for a while. If you hadn’t been there for me I don’t want to know what would have happened!” Heather laughed awkwardly, a cover for the truth of the matter. Had Veronica not shown up when she did there would not be a Heather McNamara anymore.  
“You’ve saved at least one person, and I think that’s pretty great, don’t you?”

Veronica gave a half-hearted shrug and fiddled with the remote. “I guess so.” The worst part of it all, she thought, was that there was no way she could ever tell anyone what really happened. Even if she tried, who the hell would believe her? And if they did, what would happen to her then?

“You’re drifting, Ronnie.”

Veronica shook her head and looked up, eyes meeting with Heather’s. “Sorry…. Sorry. You’re right.” She smiled faintly. “I’m really glad you’re here, Heather. I hope you are too.”

After a moment of consideration, Heather nodded. “I am, yeah. I wasn’t at first, but I think now I am. At least, I’m becoming glad.” She took Veronica’s hand once more, squeezing it. “Being alive is hard sometimes, Ronnie.” She whispered. She was smiling, but there was nothing happy about it.

_God, I wish I could make it easy for you._

“I know. Fuck, I know.” There was a long pause as both searched for words. There aren’t really words for something like this, not when you’re just kids. Not when you’re 18 years old and have never left Sherwood, Ohio.

Heather scooted closer, leaning her head on Veronica’s shoulder. “I’m tired, Ronnie.”

“I know...” Veronica sighed softly, letting her eyes fall closed. “I know.”

The two girls stayed in this position for longer than what may have been “acceptable”, watching the sun set out Heather’s living room window. As the sun disappeared it bathed them in a warm glow, casting a soft gold sheen over the room. They were just kids; they were 18, and they had never left Sherwood, Ohio, but that meant there was hope. Veronica yawned, letting herself settle in closer to the girl beside her. He was wrong about a lot of things, but maybe not this. Maybe she could be fixed after all.

**Author's Note:**

> despite it being such a huge part of me as a person, this is my first real work for heathers, so yay!! and what better way to start than with my two favorite gals!! hope you enjoyed!! if you feel strongly enough, consider buying me a coffee at ko-fi.com/honeylesbian !! <3


End file.
